The Insignificance and Vulnerability of Simplicity

Saturday, December 31

Pardon my Imprudence

Damned..I just want to blow it off..

Damned it..why am I always the one to bear the brunt of someone else's anger??!!

Damned..My temper's getting from bad to worse..buzz off folks..!!

Damned it..I'm pissed off by your nonsense..nonsense and more nonsense..never ending nonsense..childish nonsense..

Damned the adult world..go fight it out among yourself..

Damned it..why should I get complicatedly and messily tangled up in the adult affairs..?

Damned it..call yourself adults..childish!

Damned..you folks seemed obessessed with kite flying izzit??

Damned it..why should I care??

Damned it..taunt me for what..?

Damned..the adult world has no life..

Damned it..I dont want to grow up..AT ALL!

irony @

9:00 AM

Wednesday, December 14

The Senses

I looked up the sky..I heard the sound of swaying trees..I smelt rain..I felt the soothing effects of wind brushing against my skin..I took a deep breath and then swallowed my saliva..then I began my warm up..

I realised I havent been to the stadium for a while..Jogging for the past weeks have been a rushed effort..This time round, I was determined to make myself feel relaxed and totally at ease..in which the stadium has never failed to make me feel that way..^_^ As I began my warm up..the sky started to drizzle..I would say rain flakes were blown all over the place..The first thought.."There goes my jogging session.." but as I looked up the sky..I saw the moon..not surrounded by clouds..that's weird..but I knew..the rain would not stay for long..

As joggers stopped their jogging routine one by one..I continued my warm up..with the occasional glances at the sky..knowing somehow the rain would go away..then I saw it..a full bloom rainbow..Pretty! I looked around..no one saw it..they seemed annoyed that the rain dampened their mood to jog..I smiled to myself..with a rainbow in sight, it doubled confirmed my theory that the rain was only temporary..I started moving against the flow of the joggers coming into the shelter..I started jogging..amongst the rain flakes..

Many a time..people dont observe..people dont listen..people dont feel..nowadays..all the senses are used in the wrong manner..the eyes to see..the ears to listen..the nose to smell..the mouth to taste..the skin to feel..the heart to feel..the mind to control all the above..so what do people use our senses for nowadays? The eyes to peep into the privacy of others..ears to hear gossip and more gossip..nose to smell only the delicacies..mouth to speak behind others' backs..the heart without anymore compassion..and the mind to only think of material wealth..With the mind fully occupied with such..how do you expect the senses to be doing what they should basically do?

The Over-Sensitive?

What is the difference between being intuitive and being overly sensitive?

Just came back from a broad leave..something which is subtly not welcomed by the company..I suddenly noticed people's uptight and unnatural behaviours..I actually had an offer from a colleague asking if I wanted New Year Day eve off as well??! I was off duty on Xmas eve..so theoretically, I was suppposed to work on New Year's eve..the sudden thought that came to my mind..was not that of a girlish satisfaction..but that I may get into trouble by taking two consecutive Sats off..why should she offer New Year eve when she can have it herself? If she really wants to exchange it with the Sat to which her kids start school, she can swop another Sat..just why New Year eve? Maybe I was over sensitive or purely intuitive..perhaps there may be some questions going on to why my leave was approved on broad basis for previous few occasions..hmm..=/

Should I go ahead with it? Should I accept this "willingly" offered indebtedness? I'm not the one who wants to swop..what if she comes back with more nonsense..she can always say that she swopped with me previously hence doing me a favour..so in future..whenever she wants to be off duty..I should be obliged to accept it? I do not know her motive for such..maybe just pure concern for her kids..just that I do not feel comfortable..

irony @

2:12 PM

Friday, December 2

A mom asked a girl to bring her bf to some talk..the girl was very enthusiastic about it..cos she liked the speaker's humorous way of speaking..one thing she hesitated about asking her bf..is perhaps due to the fact that she cannot handle rejections well..but she asked anyway..Free to attend a talk on the 2nd Dec?

At first, her bf was quite sceptical about it..but the girl explained that the speaker was very funny..that was why she was enthusiastic about it and hope her bf will believe that both of them will enjoy the talk together..He asked if they need tix to get into expo..she said her mom already got the tix..so he said he will go since her mom already got the tix..the girl was gleeful..and went home immediately to tell her mom that yea..he's going..=)

That was two weeks from the talk..she knew he would forget..but did not remind him..always so many things on his mind..so as that day approached..he asked what they were going to do..she told him that there was this talk that they were supposed to go..he paused..he then said slowly that he did not wish to go..and questioned the purpose for going..The girl was extremely disappointed..it happened to be the time when she was very exhausted and stressed out..and she needed her loved ones to be with her, she needed attention the most at that time..plus she cannot handle rejections well..she almost could not held back her tears..her eyes were hot..and she hid them from him..He saw her upset disposition..and asked her if he did promise her that he will go? She said maybe he did..and he replied he didnt think he did..oh well..maybe he did not..-___- ''' Then why did he ask that question?

Was that once a promise? How do you interpretate it? Maybe the girl derived its meaning in a wrong way..maybe she was too naive..that sets her thinking a lot..will the love that was once promised between them fade with time? Will he soon forget the once so-firm a confirmation he gave her at that point in time? Or did he ever promise in the first place? Isnt it contradicting?

Maybe the bf was occupied with something else..alright then..then it's the chance that is playing a trick on them..the bf was disturbed by the fact that something he used daily is not quite right in good condition..need to visit the workshop to get it fixed..with that very disturbing issue in his mind, not surprised that he did not have mood for anything....so..to keep a relationship alive..is it solely dependent on individuals? Or on how much effort they put in?

The girl does not believe entirely true..most of it..is actually on circumstances..whether one has the chance to express how much they cared for each other..whether one is there at the right time..perhaps none of these will happen if they did not meet that night before Friday..the girl wouldnt have the chance to burst out indignantly at their previous disagreement..stunning her bf..irritating him..and the girl wouldnt feel so bad should the bf turned her down over the phone..and not having the chance to ask that question on promise..=/

Such situations..the girl's extremely upset..the bf's extremely disturbed..the girl needed him..but he's not there..then he decided to go down to the workshop not staying with her till knock off..off she goes into the ladies right after lunch..and stayed there for some time..watching the cubicle floor get wet with her tears..

Will this weaken the relaitonship? Maybe not..cos this is just one issue..however..it doesnt guarantee that there wouldnt be such situations in future..the interception of wrong chances at the wrong timing..

irony @

3:57 PM